Chasing Solitude

I was lost in thought when I was suddenly interrupted by a "good morning." I force a grin and return with a "morning" back. I already miss the solitude. I can't seem to ignore energy from others; It always attaches without asking, and then the feelings follow. He loudly sips his coffee as he plops down beside me, and suddenly I get the feeling again. The one where I feel I'm meant to be anywhere but here, but I have no clue where.

Again he interrupts my thoughts. "You know what I was thinking?" he asks. "What's that?" I respond, trying to sound interested. "I sometimes wish I felt deeply," he says. I feel the hairs on my ears stand up. "Oh ya?" I say. I'm interested now, in the moment. "Ya, they say people who feel deeply are often artists. I'd like to get rich sitting around throwing paint."

I sigh, "I should've known better," I think to myself. This state of being is lonesome. He smiles as he awaits my approval. "Best to be a simpleton," I respond, as I turn my head towards the window longing for a deep conversation with meaning. He's satisfied with my answer and leaves me alone. And so I returned to being lost.