What's Considered the End or the Beginning?

So I often wonder what it is that someone would want to read from me. I stop and think about all the instances and try to piece where it is I should begin. Everyone has a story to be told so how could mine be any different? I go through the good and the bad times and try to pick out the parts I think would interest you more. I realize though, I have to quit worrying and just start. So I'll start in the moment I'm at now and trail back and forth between times. If I lose you i'm sorry. I truly wish to keep you. I want you to feel what i've felt and I want to feel your heart too. Maybe our stories match and we connect. I hope that too.

Sometimes it seems weird to start where we're at in time because things are actually more overwhelming than we give them credit for. That is, if credit is meant to be given in these trying times. Its easy to think on something that has happened and play it over and over in our minds until we're able to fully grasp it and put it into perspective. But, how do we put words, meanings, passion and understanding into the now when everything has still yet to be played out? I don't truly know. And to be honest it drives me mad. It doesn't seem fair to think and feel as much as I do. I over analyze every situation and get lost in what is real and what isn't.

I'm stuck in the, how much love am I giving out and is it too much. I wonder why I give so much. I think its because I know people are hurting and just need it. But, I give it and hurt so much because I cant be anything but genuine and them.....I still just don't know. Why is it when I look into your eyes with so much love I feel like I get nothing back? I know if I told you, you'd say I was wrong but then why am I always left with myself and wondering thoughts in the end?

I've spent a life long, 30 years that is putting puzzles together. You'd think by now Id be a pro at this game but I keep losing the pieces. They wonder what i'm thinking, what i'm writing but they don't care long enough to hear the whole story. And i'm left wondering, when did people lose their sense of wonder? That's why my site is named Wonder Knocks. Because boy does it sure knock, and yet I love it so.

I'm an empath. I love deep and feel energy. I'm an artist and a traveler. I'm a mother and a friend. I think far beyond the place I'm at now and think passionately. What such beautiful things to have but at such a cost. Constant loneliness. Always.